Wife: the ideal wife


  • By M.J. Aslam

The embodiment of love & sacrifice; the ocean of perseverance & endurance; the mountain of strength & firmness; the example of loyalty and obedience and the pith of caring, and revering all: she is an ideal wife, the role model, who factually lives in many a blessed home of ours.

Quite unlike selfish migratory birds, she doesn’t change her location for sustenance during cold & hot weathers. For survival of an indispensable institution of human society–the marriage–she permanently shifts from her original home of parents-in-biology, where she’s lived her innocent childhood, playful adolescence and early adulthood, bidding goodbye, thus, to her birth parents & siblings, for her new home of parents-in-law with brand new people with unalike ideas & styles of living there. Slowly but surely, she familiarizes herself with new relations & gets adapted to new conditions of life. She develops new connections of her life at marital home at the cost of forgetting almost, if not completely, old connections of her parental home. A great sacrifice, indeed, she makes for the requirements of ‘Law’ in all civilized societies.

The prime object before her, after entering new bond of life, is homemaking and as a homemaker she, often, doesn’t make her career outside like a self-governed career-woman even though she may be conferred with higher degrees and greater potentials than her. She uses her capacities and capabilities in making, & giving to the society, an ideal family unit. She, by not opting for a job outside her family home, is actually paving a way for employment of an unemployed man whose youth is getting wasted in the dust and blisters on his feet in search for a job. So, she gives a noticeable sacrifice for the others in her society where man is deemed ‘family-maintainer’.

She loves to glitter and embellish within her home for her spouse only like a chandelier hung down from the deep ceiling-cavity of a tomb-mosque, luminous in the centre for the devout worshipper only.

In the morning, the soft call of her awakens him and their children from the night’ sweet slumbers to freshen themselves up, pray and have the breakfast to energize themselves for the day’s beginning-work, & carry with them the lunch for continuing & finishing it at their respective workplaces. That noble soul cooks food not only for her own family but for her in-laws as well. Before parting for office & school, the husband & the children bid adieu to her which is happily responded by her with myriad smiles on her face, reserved by her for her family only.

Under the warmth of her love and care, her husband’s face glows with happiness and her children bloom in the family-garden. She’s like showering blessing from the blue skies upon her home. She’s like dense and thick green foliage of a summer tree under whose cool shade the weary traveler gets serene nap. The husband returning home after day’s work is greeted by her with all that good which does away with day’s fatigue: a hearty welcome back to home with smiling face, a tumbler of water full of loyal grace & a cup of tea of sugar of love & milk of care. The children returning home from school receive from their tender-hearted mother, their father’s wife, no less deeply rooted affection & care than their recipient- father.

Her conjugal life, at times, tosses her against ‘mild-provocation’ from her spouse, or gets her on nerves with him, but she calmly sails her vessel beyond the direction of the ‘confronting-reef’, since her gifted-foresight knows that in an ocean of love, calm beautiful blue, sometimes, turns such ugly rage of rising-temper-wave as is likely to damage, or sink, the family-ship.

As children grow elder, the spouses become older; when the former become independent, the latter lose independence and become dependent on one another & the others, more than ever before. However, not only in old age but in young age too, she takes care of him. She stands by him like a constant companion in every hour of sadness and happiness making him stand strong to unfavourable gale & thankful to favourable breeze as both tides of air are ordained to touch their home. She’s the uprights upon whom the tarp of her spouse stands & both together keep the matrimonial home inside protected from pelting rains & their effects. She’s the sap that sustains & succours the family tree all along its life. She’s the bulwark, unfailing strength, that protects her husband against falling down & fences her children off from going astray. She’s the beacon light that guides the vessel of her husband’ life at night. She’s bound to a self-taken vow that she wouldn’t touch the food till her husband arrives & joins her on dinning-table. Sometimes, while keeping that vow, she falls asleep on the table in long wait for him late at night, occasionally till break of day.

She’s his Ruh (the soul). She’s a cherished desire to decay & die together with him, & rest after death in the grave beside him as she’s been resting, before death, next to him. Such is the bond of lifelong love she’s woven with him: her most respected man in the world.


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