A song says exactly what I think these days off and on, occasionally I do ’munch’ the first lines of the meaningful song ‘I fear the people amongst whom I have lived” and I also took liberty to extend the lines further. I fear the government authorities after working for years with them for the state or government. I fear even Muslims in whose localities I stayed in order to live with fewer troubles. I fear my relatives who I thought would support me all along but harmed me.
Betrayal….betrayal… Of course, betrayal may not be a sufficient word to describe that.
I never sought the support of my relatives or friends, alone promoting my mission but I do expect them not harm me. .
The state agencies have made my “relatives” my enemies and ‘best’ friends a nuisance. One fails to understand how at all enemies emerge and why and when. I was not conscious of their arrival because I was busy with my work as usual. Scheming is done by those who have nothing to do.
It is said owls observe things from a distance and attack the prey abruptly. Perhaps, I am being observed by ‘owls’ from different points and do exactly what the criminals do.
I was terrorized unfairly in Kerala, the so-called god’s own country by some silly cricket boys who suddenly emerged near my residence and whose ‘skills’ probably the government/party agencies used to force me to leave “their” locality where I lived part of my post-retirement (without getting Indian pension) life before leaving for another “Muslim” locality in order to be “safe”. Yes they boys have got Muslim names to create trouble for me and that was the reason why the criminal agency used them. I am helpless as criminal Muslim boys were more powerful that elders in the locality. Elders enjoy the mischief of their ‘growing’ children.
Recently, a helmet masked Kerala bike guy attempted to terrorize me in the night darkness while I was walking back after my supper nearly a month ago.
Darkness and helmet did not let me recognize the Malayalam criminal. He did not want to murder me, had he intended that he would have succeeded it anyway.
After driving his night bike high speed he abruptly stopped right in front of me a few inches short. I did not report to police so far.
Like Israel, India also does not want columnists to praise the government and therefore w employs all possible techniques, including Muslim children, my own so-called relatives to force me stop supporting Islam and Muslims in writings. Should I oblige them? Don’t we need some Muslims to support Islam in this world of Islamophobia?
Obviously, the enemies of Islam, both non-state and state varieties, employ Muslim boys and elders to impress me of the need of becoming an anti-Muslim to work against Islam, but I am a Muslim not because of hypercritic Muslims who are all around. USA and allies employ Muslim organizations like Al-Qaida and ISIS to make Islam a terrorist religion without any real concern for religion or God. I am a Muslim because I am fully convinced about God’s commandments and God’s Holy Prophets. Just because some insane Muslim misbehave with me for money from the “concerned people, I cannot leave Islam or change my religion.
I am a Muslims because I am an Islamist. I am a Muslim in spite of fellow Muslims.
In fact, I think I am a better Islamist than, say, the Turkish president Erdogan who, forgetting about Islamist ideology, supported, for too long, the anti-Islamic Israeli regime that sucks the Palestinian blood whenever it feels thirst.
It is true, many Muslims work for anti-Muslim organizations, anti-Islamic nations, agencies. Maybe, many of them were “converted” into anti-Islam mode by big powers that hate Islam and want to kill Muslims and reduce Islamic populations. Those who support the US terror war on Islam to ensure energy security are
A strong tea would give me some relaxation to me but it won’t solve the civilizational crisis.
Betrayal may not be a sufficient word to describe that. Taking the fate concept as the reason for ones fallen life does not help me in a sumptuous way.
But I learned a vital clue to understand my unsecured life: humans are alike, irrespective of their identities. Those who could be of some help to me are themselves helpless. I don’t cry over my cruel fate, nor I worry too much about my destiny, if any, that does not make any difference or sense. Frankly, Muslims are no better than others in guiding or helping the troubled or affected; they join other is destroying the helpless ones. Faithfuls and hypocrites make a little difference, if at all.
I forget to keep out of mind my own helplessness by occasionally drinking some good tea at restaurants, but not each time I am given a good tea.. That is my misfortune. Though not a billionaire, I do pay full amount for whatever I buy or consume.
A fine tea makes me happy, contented, and even elated in spirits. Tea gives energy to work day or night, to survive from societal problems, troubles, though may not be in perfect satisfaction.
For a person who does not smoke or drink alcohol I enjoy sipping strong tea but the tea powder used for making that tea should be fresh and of a superior quality. Or else, tea won’t be that tasty.
Nothing depends on me, including my own happiness. I love simple language to express my melancholy even while searching very complicated syntax, without success.
As I was sipping the favorite “salt tea in Kashmir for the first time in life enroute to Srinagar, I felt I love that unusual tea and even though it was late to late for me that and while in Srinagar. I searched for ‘salt tea’ to quench my thirst. I was successful.
One may not like certain places or events or even persons. But I must say I developed taste for tea while serving the Indian government in Hyderabad, known also as a pearl city. That taste came to me rather late and ended abruptly, because my life is controlled not by me but by others who willingly play the role of Satans or paid devils.
Café tea in Hyderabad I began appreciating rather late. How can I forget the special morning tea at my senior colleague’s Professor Dimri’s home and every day after our morning walk on Osmania campus? I am not lucky enough to enjoy that kind tea for too long as pointless silly rift began to erupt…Soon I found myself isolated and even targeted and driven out by the campus community and outside. They got my job back. However, Indian government still refuses to honor its commitment to me by releasing my gratuity plus the usual pension as per the agreement and other retirement benefits. Indian government is very cleaver, if not cunning as it knows if I go to a court for justice also, nothing would happen as judges cannot support a Muslim who could accept the institutional crimes as my fate.
It is not that easy to distinguish ‘good from bad’ or choose one’s own destiny. I failed miserably.
One knows if monkeys get very costly and very beautiful garlands, they would just play with them and finally break them into pieces and eventually throw them away unmindful of the fact where. Same happens if some humans get big government posts and their actions make even those monkeys feel ashamed.
I still managed to enjoy tea at restaurants in Hyderabad, but against not for too long as I found myself on the move towards more tragedies….
Though I began appreciating tea during my stay at Hyderabad, the tea made available in the New Delhi’s Brahmaputra Hostel of JNU I enjoyed the most for full three years. Frankly, they prepare the best possible tea by using very costly tea power and quality milk. I am sure every hostel goes by high standards in food preparations like this. Tea is provided early in the morning and the researchers could drink as much tea as one wants and wishes. I am among the top tea takers.
One wonders if too much of quality morning tea in plenty enables the researchers to undertake quality research and gain higher education to highest possible degree.
I am ever grateful to JNU.
I have to write something more important, but I have forgotten the content.
Meanwhile, I must say firmly that God is more than enough for me and others who are ‘condemned’ by the ‘networks’ to suffer without valid reasons. That fact, I could study against the wish, will and opposition of my relatives makes it clear the hidden hand of God in my education. In fact, higher education was a miracle that happened to my life. God found some good persons to support and help me throughout my life.